The UUWCMS (Ukrainian Unificationist Wind Chime Missionary/Salesman)

We were reprimanded today by one of our most loyal - "If it's not on 56572, I don't believe it" - readers. The reader took offense to our changing our banner to say Fact and Fiction instead of Global and (when there is some) local news from 56572. We listen to our readers and have made accommodation. There was news in 56572 today (06-06-06). Here today's F&F:

I am at my desk this glorious June morning when my ears go Viagra like my West Highland White Terriers. I hear chimes. Nah, can't be. Yes, I hear chimes. They are beautiful, attractive and getting louder. You're hearing things. The chimes get closer. Time for some Ave Marias. Lucifer has sent somebody to fetch me. The Dalai Lama has come to 56572. The chimes are in the hallway. Is this how it ends? I've hit the 06-06-06 jackpot. The Lord walks right up to my desk wearing a baseball cap, a sincere smile on his face, twenty five wind chimes in his hand. On his t-shirt are four words I cannot remember, though I think one might have been salvation. The wind suddenly dies, the chimes stop.

"Let me guess, your name is Gabriel."
"Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. I am missionary. From Ukraine. Would you like to buy wind chime? One for fifteen dollar, two for twenty-five, cash or credit card no problem, see, all money go to church."
"So you are from Uuukraeeena?"
"Da, so you speak Ukrainian?"
"Sorry, I do not. No, I am not interested in your lovely wind chimes, thank you. Look for my wife downtown and let her hear them. She will probably buy from you, especially if money go to church."
"Thank you kind sir. God bless you sir. Good day sir"

The chimes fade as he walks outside.
The ID tag on his shoulder was from the Unification Church.
THIS IS NOT A LUTHERAN DENOMINATION.
The mission field is 56572.
The missionary is from the Ukraine.
He believes in what he has read in the Wolli Kangron and that the Korean leader of his Church is the "Christ of the Second Advent"

If you hear the chimes on the street - or in your office - tomorrow:
A) The man is pure charisma. B) He speaks an English, the likes you have never heard before. C) There is little doubt that he is an angel, of sorts. D) Although it would seem he would not take no for an answer, he will, gracefully. E) He has no doubt about what he is doing or how to do it. E) He is doing it with complete conviction and joy. Be prepared.

Then again, the UUWCMS could be gone with the wind until 07-07-07, our really lucky day. He may be following orders never to stay in one town more than twenty-four hours. He may have never been here in the first place.