When all you've got to write home about is Pete

Like, I was sitting on a pool hall bar stool this noon, enjoying my soup when my iPhone starts to rumble on the counter and eyes are pulled away from Days of our Lives wondering what the hell "that" was. "That" was a message that 56572 had been slandered in the media. Nodakers mad at National Geographic, now I read the following:

Minnesota: Where BIG is a State of Mind
"Like, did you know that Minnesota features many of the worlds largest items? We do! Virginia has the largest floating loon, or, perhaps, you would like just a big loon, which is in Vergas. Loon not your bird of choice? Pelican Rapids has, well, what else but the world’s largest pelican. Don’t forget the turkey in Frazee or the prairie chicken in Rothsay."

Alpha male reads this to mean "what else does 56572 have besides a cement bird like every other town around?"

Like, who is writing this?
The magazine Lavender.
Never heard of it. Who are they?
Minnesota's GLBT magazine.
-SOS wikipedia.-
OK.
Let me count to ten and re-read.

"Pelican Rapids has, well, what else but the world’s largest pelican."

I get it now, with a name like that, what else can one expect. No diss intended.

Sorry for the hypersensitivity. Thank you for mentioning us.

Maybe I can chill this weekend.